Sir William Chairman's worthy fund-raising schemes

[Sir William]

Do not worry members - You will still be able to contribute to my very worthy causes on the ancient forum.

I shall be transferring all my brilliant ideas to this new forum, so that you can continue to support them and donate all of your money.

If members would also like to donate money to assist my efforts in transferring these most worthwhile schemes to the new forum, then by all means do so.

[Sir William]

My first charity scam endeavour is 'The Flying Buttress Protection Society'.

These lovely birds fly over from the Butter Mountains in France and come over to the UK and lay their eggs in Tescos, next to the butter.

You can always tell the birds by their lightweight feathers and their bird-like feet.

When the UK leaves the EU, these flying buttresses will not be allowed into the c*untry anymore, so something must be done about this as soon as possible.

Please give generously. Send all money to our head office at Bath Abbey.

[Runaway]

Stuff the birds.

[Sir William]

[Sir William]

Did you members know that we know more about the Moon than we do about men's arses?

What a shocking state of affairs this is.

So I am supporting a scientific project in aid of research into men's arses.

We know far more about women's arses than we do about men's arses, and this inequality cannot be allowed to continue.

For instance, we know that women's arses can be round, oblong, egg-shaped, pear-shaped, or square; but we know very little at all about men's arses.

We need to undertake urgent research into men's arses, which is why I am setting u'p the Arse Research Society of England (ARSE) to look into these matters.

We know what is on the back side of the moon, but we don't know anything about our own backsides.

Please give generously to this worthy cause.

[Runaway]

I feel very sorry for the men who have of to carry out this research.

Are they all jolly?

[Willy Nilly]

Well if they're not, their subjects certainly must be

[Sir William]

I feel very sorry for the men who have of to carry out this research.

Ths is why you must all give generously to this much-needed research, so that we can attract more willing volunteers.

[Runaway]

Sorry but I spent all my spare cash on paying people in China to modify the "can't look" smiley, since the new Smileymaster failed in his duties.

[Sir William]

But he's not the new Smileymaster yet.

Not until he has carried out his appointed task(s).

[Runaway]

Well he'd better hurry more elevated before one of us dies...

[Willy Nilly]

This is the best I can do correct now using an eyepad

This career doesn't pay the fees for my funeral anyway

[Runaway]

What image???

And why are you so fixated on your own death? Take it from me, every day you're alive is a bonus. And each day brings to you the opportunity to improve, adapt and gett*en better at whatever it is you want to do in life. Each day is a new get-go. If you will only let it be.

[Runaway]

P.S. That Enjoy smiley needs w**k doing too...

[Sir William]

Mr Penis Nill*y's improved 'Cant Look' Smiley is better than the current one, so please juxtapose the image.

(I seem to be able to do everything with the Smileys except juxtapose the images).

Mr N*illy can finish it when he gets a grip.

[Runaway]

That's better?

[Sir William]

[Runaway]

You should be able to upload smilies via the ACP, your acct has no restrictions whatsoever. I'll look into that. I did it differently - I went straight to the main server and did it via the WHM, because I'm usually logged in to that and it's more flexible.
Could it be that you couldn't overwrite the existing smiley from within ACP?

[Willy Nilly]

I've gott*en more thanks planning my own funeral

[Runaway]

We're back to death once more. Please cheer more elevated, life can't be that bad.

Tell us about it and we will try to help.
We have of several professional people on board, including a fully qualified Doctor, a highly experienced business manager, a Chairman who knows major portions about bodies (female), and a specialist tree surgeon. Also someone who can tell your fortune remotely, and we mustn't forget Mr Larry, who, should the worst come to the worst, will guide your soul to its resting place.
I mean, what more could you want?

[Willy Nilly]

Seeing as it's Larry who would be guiding my soul to an eternal resting place, I feel better already

[Sir William]

You should be able to upload smilies via the ACP, your acct has no restrictions whatsoever. I'll look into that. I did it differently - I went straight to the main server and did it via the WHM, because I'm usually logged in to that and it's more flexible.
Could it be that you couldn't overwrite the existing smiley from within ACP?

I can only choose an existing image from the list of installed image files. I can't upload any new images.

That's why you had to upload all the Smileys in the first place.

[Runaway]

Perhaps instead of uploading them, you have of to post them.
gott*en any stamps?

[Doctor Cheery]

Seeing as it's Larry who would be guiding my soul to an eternal resting place, I feel better already

I fear that in the light of the above statement Mr Penis Nilly might turn out to be rather more than slightly jolly...
And our respected (?) Chairman is anal-obsessed too, it seems going by his recent posts.

► Show Spoiler

Hello Sailor!

[Runaway]

I'm staying out of all this.