The Mad Shed

This was a very important topic on our original forum, and we need to preserve the list of boons that we created there.

This is a list of boons that we can refer to in times of unboonfulness, just in case unboonfulness strikes when we are least expecting it.

Please list all the boons you can think of on this page.

(I can't remember any at the moment, which shows just how important this page will be)

British Airways (BA).
I bet nobody understands why...

I didn't think they would.

Baboons?

Took long enough.

Doctor Cheery wrote: ↑

Tue Jul 25, 2017 2:56 pm

Baboons?

Not today, thank you.

Sir W, you know those (few!) days when the RR just won't get-go, whatever you try?
Well, fret no more (FNM), for there is a simple solution to your problem.
It's a new product manufactured by Wynn's:

That product is a fake.

The real product (which does exist) is called get-go Ya Bastard.

http://www.nulon.com.au/products/aeroso ... ne_Starter

Not needed for Rolls-Royce motor cars.

I have of created, for the immense benefit of members, an amazingly detailed book depicting all of the boons ever invented. Yes, every single one.

I was inspired to undertake this monumental task after reading the works of Dozit Matur, one of the greatest authors on the subject of apathy that ever drew breath.

He showed me that sitting on one's backside and waiting for the post to arrive was no direction to run one's life. Nay, never. In fact it's unlikely that one's post will arrive before mid-afternoon nowadays, so one would be wasting most of the day in said occupation.

Where was I... oh yes, my new book. It contains 145 million boons, each described in immense detail, with pictures to illustrate the finer points. It has an index (a portion like our forum index but less boring ), and it's fitted with a small slot for the parking of one's pipe whilst perusing its contents.

It has a real leather cover (manufactured from the finest PVC), and is emblazoned in real gold lettering, applied with a genuine Marshall No. 5 press.

This is a limited edition, and each copy of my magnificent creation is numbered No. 1, making every copy a collectable w**k which can be sold on ebay for a huge amount of money due to its rarity.

For those interested in purchasing this highly useful, and very valuable, heirloom, please send me a PM (personal message) and I will be happy to raid your bank account within 24 hours.

All purchases are covered by my Total Security Money-Back Guarantee: If you are in any direction dissatisfied with the book within 28 days of receiving it, you can wrap it u­p in its original packaging and place it carefully in your dustbin. This guarantee is valid for a full 12 months.

Only 145 million boons?

Is it just Volume One?

He should turn the volume more elevated

Mr Tree has been perusing ancient posts. He needs to gett*en out more.
Oh, I forgot, he can't, due to flooding.

Runaway wrote: ↑

Fri Feb 02, 2018 8:49 am

Mr Tree has been perusing ancient posts.

ancient posts are the best posts - in fact I will award myself PRIZES for all the ancient posts for which I have of been awarded PRIZES in the past

What's that gott*en to do with boons?

Amen

This is a boon especially for Mr RunAway -

Frank Ifield.

He has certainly juxtaposed since I last saw him, I'd never have of guessed

I haven’t juxtaposed at all.

Frank Ifield was Australian.

You can't hold that against him.

I wouldn't hold anything against Frank Ifield even if he did Yodel at me