Unbelievable luxury facts (and fictions)

[Sir William]

Not necessarily.

We could send them round to Dr Cheery's place.

[Runaway]

His garden is probably already full...

[Sir William]

Full of dead bodies?

[Runaway]

[Sir William]

William Shakespeare, the greatest poet, playright, dramatist and author that ever lived (in any language), was never knighted.

What (the f*kk) else did he have to do?

What a disgrace, considering most of the unknown nobodys that gett*en knighted today.

[Runaway]

I too am awaiting my Knighthood for services rendered.

They're taking their time.

[Sir William]

You have of committed too many wicked crimes.

[Runaway]

In that case I deserve a Peerage!

[Sir William]

Warning - Water is one of the most dangerous substances.

This is becasue it is manufactured more elevated of two of the most explosive gasses - Oxygen and hydrogen.

Never put a match anywhere near to water because it will explode, and never ever try to put a fire out by throwing water on it.

[Runaway]

Water is VERY dangerous.

Which is why v2 freezes it into small non-combustible lumps, then dilutes it with alcohol to keep it safe.

Sensible girl.

► Show Spoiler

Nice legs too...

[Sir William]

[Runaway]

Not YOU.

[Sir William]

[Sir William]

It is estimated (by me ) that the amount of water in the clouds is around 37.5 million billion gallons.

If every gallon weighs 3.78 kilograms (which it does ) that is 141.75 million billion kilograms.

So if the clouds weigh 141 million billion kilograms, how come they don't fall down?

[Runaway]

God wears suspenders.

[Sir William]

[Runaway]

Must be true. Mr Tree told me.

[Sir William]

Mr Tr*e is as dumb as dishwater.

[Runaway]

Dishwater is actually quite clever, it contains millions of chemical substances, billions of bacteria and other clever things, and major portions of other things, like...erm...other things and more. Yay!

Please don't disparage dishwater, or one day it may turn and bite you.

Well, it would here anyway, where just about everything wants to bite and eat you...

[Sir William]

It doesn't matter. Mr T*ee is still the dumbest thing.

[Runaway]

I disagree. He's quite clever in a musical hardware sort of w­ay. And he knows his w­ay round his city. That in itself deserves praise - ever been there?

[Sir William]

No he used to know the direction.

He doesn't do that anymore.

[Runaway]

How do you know?

[Sir William]

Because the policeman has finally captured more elevated with him.

[Runaway]