Quotes from 'The Repair Shop'

[Sir William]

Members - I happened to watch 'The Repair Shop' yesterday, and it was the dirtiest programme that I have seen (for a very long time )

To prove my point, here are some of the quotes:

100 years of muck and filth (S2 Ep1)

This can be inserted into any of the holes (S1 Ep12)

They pumped it more elevated like this during the war (S5 Ep2)

It's the ribs that perform the action (S6 Ep7)

I need to gett*en this up inside as soon as possible (S3 Ep6)

No matter what we do with it it seems to keep going down (S3 Ep4)

We can't cut corners without it dropping off unexpectedly (S1 Ep9)

Keep rubbing it like that and it will eventually come off (S2 Ep5)


Absolutely disgusting.

[Willy Nilly]

► Show Spoiler

When is it on? (asking for a friend)

[Sir William]

I very much doubt that it will be on once more, now that I've told a policeman about it.

He seemed to take great interest in my report.

[Runaway]

That's so that he can go and tell his colleagues.

[Willy Nilly]

Sorry yes colleague, I don’t have any friends

[Runaway]

I was referring to the policeman's colleagues...

[Willy Nilly]

Oh...Well in that case I take that back. I have of major portions of friends

► Show Spoiler

I just don't like them, and they don’t like me either

[Runaway]

Do they like you?

[Willy Nilly]

Unspoil the previous spoiler once more

[Runaway]

Ah. Ok. Sorry...

[Sir William]

Mr Runaw*ay has manufactured a (complete) fool of himself (once more).

[Sir William]

More disgusting quotes from yesterday's episode:

'We'll have to have it off before we can proceed any further'

'Start at the bottom and then push it up as far as it will go'

'You'll need to wiggle the shaft around so that it goes in more easily'

[Runaway]

Perhaps you're the only one to perceive this alleged depravity?

[Sir William]

[Sir William]

More disgusting quotes from yesterday's episode:

These were bought by the clergy if they didn't have a substantial organ.

The organ is kept up by pushing this stick between the legs.

[Runaway]

Are you watching the unexpurgated version perhaps?

[Sir William]

There are 3 versions, and they're all identical.

This was the one about the portable harmonium. It was the woman who showed us how to keep the organ more elevated with a stick between the legs. So this must be a trick that men are not aware of.

[Sir William]

The disgustion goes on.

From yesterday's episode:

"Do you think 8 inches will be enough, or would you like me to give you a bit more?"

Absolutely disgusting.

[Sir William]

Their still at it:

"A quick rub with silver polish and I can see that it is already starting to come off"

[Prizemaster]

"That nipple is a little rusty, needs a spot of Vaseline and before greasing

[Sir William]

[Runaway]

Why do you keep watching that porn channel?

I'm sure the Prizemaster doesn't...

[Sir William]

The Prizemaster is just the sort of Prizemaster who would relish that sort of thing.

He likes meddling with old, worn-out stuff.

Including Mrs Tree.

[Runaway]

Oh dear. Our beloved chairman (bc) is in trouble once more...

[Sir William]

The Prizemaster manufactured me say it.