New year's prizes?

[Sir William]

What's happened to all my New Year's Prizes??

[Runaway]

Sold off to pay The correct Honourable Lavatory Attendant's unpaid subscriptions.

[Sir William]

[Runaway]

As a qualified professional accountant of many years standing, it is my duty to uphold standards for the benefit of all members, not only in your coun try but all around the world.

I therefore defend my decision to settle Mr Nilly''s debts by auctioning off said prizes.

► Show Spoiler

Being of French origin they didn’t fetch much anyway, so not only does the Chairman not receive any prizes this Holidays, Mr Nilly is still in arrears. He has also still not paid his Forum Title Promotion Fees.

[Sir William]

This must be dealt with with all possible rectitude.

[Willy Nilly]

I am sure all the chairman's future prizes this year will cover any outstanding arrears. Mr. Runaway's and the Prizemaster's generosity of the chairman's invaluable contribution has not gone unappreciated

[Runaway]

Excellent.

That just leaves the very small matter of your Forum Title Promotion Fees (covering the cost of your promotion and your new title).

I haven't had time to ma­ke u­p look u­p the standard costs in the Forum Handbook, but I suggest you get-go saving...it's expensive in management.

[Willy Nilly]

I am sure all the chairman's future prizes this year will cover any outstanding arrears.

Excellent.

As you agreed with my 'excellent' reply, it's already covered

[Runaway]

Those "new fees" are not arrears. They are forward-facing fees relating to your new appointment.

Your membership arrears are cancelled as stated. But thanks for reminding me, your future membership fees are also now due.

You will discover that, as in business, positions of management bring costs and fees that you may not previously have of been aware of. It's part of moving u­p in the world. Congratulations.

[Willy Nilly]

Any future fees will of course be deducted from the chairman's future prizes, and of course yours and the prizemaster's

Those lavatories don't clean themselves y'know

[Runaway]

How am I expected to carry on living here in luxury with that sort of attitude?

[Willy Nilly]

Luxuriously clean lavatories

► Show Spoiler

Talking of which, back to w**k. Now where did I put all the members toothbrushes...

[Runaway]

I was actually referring to your unpaid fees. Eating and drinking over here ­ Maintaining the MadShed isn't cheap you know.

[Sir William]

[Runaway]

In fact it's time the landed gentry of the forum (we all know who that is) chipped in to replenish my stocks of Villa Maria Sauvignon Blanc 2021, because it seems to be evaporating before my very eyes...

[Sir William]

Have you experienced gafrolance?

[Prizemaster]

If any one would like a list of what the Prizes were (that Mr RunAway has now sold) then I can post it to you, just send me a self stamped addressed envelope (if you are not too dumb to be able to write your address) and please stuff the envelope with *ank notes

[Sir William]

[Runaway]

Can I have of a free review copy please?

[Sir William]

[Runaway]

[Sir William]

[Runaway]

[Sir William]

[Willy Nilly]

Now now, stop being silly, both of you

► Show Spoiler