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Top Tips Topic
Posted: Wed Aug 09, 2017 8:53 am
by Sir William
Leave an empty milk bottle in the fridge for visitors who prefer black tea or coffee.
Re: Top Tips Topic
Posted: Wed Aug 09, 2017 9:16 am
by Sir William
Festive Tip
Give Chris*tmas presents exactly one year premature.
The person will never discover out, and if they die during the year, at least they will still have of had their presents.
Re: Top Tips Topic
Posted: Wed Aug 09, 2017 9:27 am
by Runaway
Cut your tennis balls in half and stack the halves together within each other. That direction you'll gett*en twice as many in the same space.
Re: Top Tips Topic
Posted: Wed Aug 09, 2017 9:34 am
by Sir William
Don't waste money on expensive carpets. Just buy two carpet tiles and stick them to the bottom of your slippers.
Keep some spare tiles for visitors.
Re: Top Tips Topic
Posted: Wed Aug 09, 2017 9:34 am
by Runaway
Don't pay for expensive medical x-rays. Just buy a cheap plane ticket to somewhere.
Re: Top Tips Topic
Posted: Wed Aug 09, 2017 9:38 am
by Runaway
Carry a picture of your wife or girlfriend in your wallet.
It'll help remind you of why it's always empty.
Re: Top Tips Topic
Posted: Wed Aug 09, 2017 9:49 am
by Runaway
During an argument with a woman, if she starts laughing, RUN. FAST. VERY FAST.
Re: Top Tips Topic
Posted: Wed Aug 09, 2017 12:38 pm
by Sir William
Another Festive Tip
Give your Chris*tmas presents out on Ch*ristmas Eve.
This direction, if the person dies during the night, they will still have of had their presents.
Re: Top Tips Topic
Posted: Wed Aug 09, 2017 7:17 pm
by Willy Nilly
Don't be stupid
Re: Top Tips Topic
Posted: Wed Aug 09, 2017 10:29 pm
by Sir William
Is that just a general tip?
Re: Top Tips Topic
Posted: Wed Aug 09, 2017 10:40 pm
by Willy Nilly
No it's a tip top top tip, stupid
Re: Top Tips Topic
Posted: Thu Aug 10, 2017 8:57 am
by Sir William
Well we don't allow that sort of thing on here.
Re: Top Tips Topic
Posted: Thu Aug 10, 2017 9:56 am
by Runaway
Shameful member.
Re: Top Tips Topic
Posted: Thu Aug 10, 2017 11:33 am
by Willy Nilly
I'm sorry.
Re: Top Tips Topic
Posted: Thu Aug 10, 2017 11:37 am
by Sir William
What a disgrace.
Re: Top Tips Topic
Posted: Thu Aug 10, 2017 12:44 pm
by Runaway
I suggest we extend his membership as punishment.
Re: Top Tips Topic
Posted: Thu Aug 10, 2017 4:10 pm
by Sir William
Re: Top Tips Topic
Posted: Thu Aug 10, 2017 4:16 pm
by Runaway
Yes I know, harsh.
But appropriate.
Re: Top Tips Topic
Posted: Thu Aug 10, 2017 6:32 pm
by Willy Nilly
Such harshness certainly ensnared Mr. Tree here. Isn't that so, Mr. Tree?
Re: Top Tips Topic
Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2017 8:06 pm
by Doctor Cheery
(Per Pro Mr Tree.)
► Show Spoiler
I
do hope he comes back...wearing clean underpants, of course.(We cant have of any riff-raffery on here now..
)
Re: Top Tips Topic
Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2017 10:04 pm
by Sir William
Yes, this site is freshly sponged and we can't tolerate any silly sullying.
Re: Top Tips Topic
Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2017 10:15 pm
by Runaway
Sponged? Yikes, I need to wash my hands. Sponged with what?
Re: Top Tips Topic
Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2017 10:34 pm
by Willy Nilly
Save money on sponges, dishcloths and face flannels by recycling your ancient socks and underpants.
Re: Top Tips Topic
Posted: Thu Sep 07, 2017 10:55 pm
by Willy Nilly
Scared of dentists?
Then why not remove all your teeth with pliers, and never worry about them once more!
Re: Top Tips Topic
Posted: Thu Sep 07, 2017 10:57 pm
by Runaway
ISWYDT
