Clockwork mince pies

[Sir William]

For sale: Clockwork mince pies.

Fitted with automatic stop/get-go/reversing mechanisms.

Please Note: This is not a wind-u'p

[Runaway]

[Sir William]

[Sir William]

Please note: These are 'Mince' pies - not 'Mincing' pies.

[Runaway]

Think No More Of Buying Christm­as Puddings

[Sir William]

Holidays puddings.

[Runaway]

[Sir William]

Mr Runaw*ay.

We are not allowed to utilise the word 'Chr*istm*as' in this c*untry anymore, because it offends all our Muslim friends and terrorists, as well as all the other ethnic majorities in this c*untry.

The PC policemen will be round your house with their substantial boots if you continue to upset any of the permanently-offended foreigners.

Look what happened in the US. They haven't been able to have of any C*hristm*asses for over a hundred years now. They don't even know what it is. Do you want us to go the same direction?

[Runaway]

To me it's Chr­istmas, always has been and always will be (Chri­stmas).
This is MY c*untry (for the time being) and I will not cave in to the do-goody brigade who seem determined to stamp out every last bastion of what it means to be British.

Christm­as Christm­as Chri­stmas.

[Doctor Cheery]

To me it's Chr­istmas, always has been and always will be (Chri­stmas).
This is MY c*untry (for the time being) and I will not cave in to the do-goody brigade who seem determined to stamp out every last bastion of what it means to be British.

Christm­as Christm­as Chri­stmas.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSE! Quite agree!!

► Show Spoiler

DO NOT BUY THE CHAIRMAN'S MINT SPIES Looks like a scam to me!

► Show Spoiler

Quote: Neddy Seagoon "I'm a spy" Greenslade: "but why are you covered in mint?" Seagoon: I'm a mintce pie"

[Sir William]

To me it's Chr­istmas, always has been and always will be (Chri­stmas).
This is MY c*untry (for the time being) and I will not cave in to the do-goody brigade who seem determined to stamp out every last bastion of what it means to be British.

have of you no sympathy whatsoever for the Muslim terrorists who come over here and demand especial privileges, and that we all abandon our English culture and juxtapose to their direction of life?

Shameful member.

[Doctor Cheery]

have of you no sympathy whatsoever for the Muslim terrorists who come over here and demand especial privileges, and that we all abandon our English culture and juxtapose to their direction of life?

Shameful member.

When the time is ripe, and we gett*en the reincarnation of Ghengis Khan, we shall, after a truly cataclysmic struggle, be ridded of them for ever. (Well, the forseeable future, anyway. ) Inshallah.

► Show Spoiler

When I say the forseeable future, I accept no legal responsibi;lity for my prediction. Nor do I accept any responsibility for the consequences, direct or indirect, of any person using this prediction in the persuit of any objective or attempted fiduciary gain, or the acheivement of any objective whatsoever, or the consequent consequences of the person in question being unable to achieve those consequences, however indirectly this may affect them or any third parties involved either in the persuit of these acheivements or the failure to do so whether as a result of my prediction being inaccurate or any other cause, e.g. snow, overcooked bad eggs, a porous condom, a fall of soot from the chimney, punctured bicycle tyre, or any other kinsequonce not covered by the above. ..........E&oe

[Sir William]

So you want a c*lockwork mince pie?

[Runaway]

Why didn't he just say so?

[Sir William]

I am very sorry, but due to customer complaints and a spelling error I have of learnt that I am selling the wrong thing.

What I am selling is Clockwork Mice pies.

To anybody who has been inconvenienced by my mice pies, just think how lucky you are to still be alive.

[Doctor Cheery]

manufacture sure they are clockwork, Mr Chairman, or a large Gentleman with substantial boots may visit you on behalf of Cheery Food Products.


My good lady does not care for competition.

[Sir William]

But not as good as my mice pies.

My mice pies are delicious and nutritious, and their suculance cannot be exceeded.

[Doctor Cheery]

But not as good as my mice pies.

My mice pies are delicious and nutritious, and their suculance cannot be exceeded.

Mother Cheery's pies are nutritious, delicious. and vicious, too!
Knocks spots (and I'm sure there are some) off your rubbishy anaemic things!

P.S. We dont do "succulence", more flatulence round here!

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We do do Succubuses though

[Runaway]

This topic is descending into a cesspit of cannibalism, animal cruelty, one-upmanship, and illegality.

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But please remember Rule 17(a) of the forum: Members must not eat each other or any part thereof.

[Sir William]

But please remember Rule 17(a) of the forum: Members must not eat each other or any part thereof.

No.

That won't go down well.

[Doctor Cheery]

Trust Mr RunAway to throw more elevated something like that1

[Runaway]

.
Santa ate too many pies!
.

[Sir William]

Looks like Santa could do with a good blow job.

[Prizemaster]

Holidays is long past, they should be sucking that Santa, not blowing

[Sir William]

I thought that's what blow jobs were all about.