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Sir William Chairman's worthy fund-raising schemes
- Sir William
- Dearly Beloved Chairman
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- Joined: Sun Jul 16, 2017 1:39 pm
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- Sir William
- Dearly Beloved Chairman
- Posts: 13292
- Joined: Sun Jul 16, 2017 1:39 pm
- Has told off: 690 times
- Been told off: 430 times
Re: Sir William Chairman's worthy fund-raising schemes
You disrespectful members have of besmirched and sullied my worthy charitable fund-raising topic with a whole page of your inane gibberings.
In order to steer my topic back on course, I hereby re-present my noteworthy Sausage measuring machine for your consideration:
Did you members know that it is very difficult to accurately measure the len*gth of a sausage?
What is needed is a especial Sausage-o-meter so that bangers can be measured accurately and accurate measurements can be recorded for posterity.
What a shocking state of affairs it is that this problem has been totally neglected by scientists until today.
So I am supporting a scientific project in aid of researching into this matter and in the development and distribution of accurate Sausage-o-meters for everybody to utilise.
This uncertainty about accurate sausage len*gth cannot be allowed to continue.
Please give generously to this worthy cause, as these Sausage-o-meters will cost major portions of money, but the rewards will be beyond measure.
PS: Everybody who contributes to this (very) worthy cause will be able to buy their Sausage-o-meter at a reduced price.
In order to steer my topic back on course, I hereby re-present my noteworthy Sausage measuring machine for your consideration:
Did you members know that it is very difficult to accurately measure the len*gth of a sausage?
What is needed is a especial Sausage-o-meter so that bangers can be measured accurately and accurate measurements can be recorded for posterity.
What a shocking state of affairs it is that this problem has been totally neglected by scientists until today.
So I am supporting a scientific project in aid of researching into this matter and in the development and distribution of accurate Sausage-o-meters for everybody to utilise.
This uncertainty about accurate sausage len*gth cannot be allowed to continue.
Please give generously to this worthy cause, as these Sausage-o-meters will cost major portions of money, but the rewards will be beyond measure.
PS: Everybody who contributes to this (very) worthy cause will be able to buy their Sausage-o-meter at a reduced price.
Sir William Chairman
- Runaway
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Re: Sir William Chairman's worthy fund-raising schemes
Allow me to reassure you, Sir W, that if ever I need a sausage measuring machine, I will undoubtedly order one from you.
But in the meantime, my sausage is assessed on a regular basis, and should there ever be any inadequacies, I'm sure it will become apparent. But it hasn't happened yet.
Please remove me from your mailing list.
But in the meantime, my sausage is assessed on a regular basis, and should there ever be any inadequacies, I'm sure it will become apparent. But it hasn't happened yet.
Please remove me from your mailing list.
- Sir William
- Dearly Beloved Chairman
- Posts: 13292
- Joined: Sun Jul 16, 2017 1:39 pm
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Re: Sir William Chairman's worthy fund-raising schemes
Hahaha that never works.
Sir William Chairman
- Sir William
- Dearly Beloved Chairman
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- Willy Nilly
- Man of Destiny
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- Runaway
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Re: Sir William Chairman's worthy fund-raising schemes
I see no sausage puns.
Please send me the links.
Please send me the links.
- Sir William
- Dearly Beloved Chairman
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Re: Sir William Chairman's worthy fund-raising schemes
You need one of my new Sausagepun-o-meters.
This will count the number of sausage puns on a page and give a digital readout.
This will count the number of sausage puns on a page and give a digital readout.
Sir William Chairman
- Sir William
- Dearly Beloved Chairman
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Re: Sir William Chairman's worthy fund-raising schemes
Has Mr N*illy received his richly-deserved Pun Prize yet?
Sir William Chairman
- Sir William
- Dearly Beloved Chairman
- Posts: 13292
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Re: Sir William Chairman's worthy fund-raising schemes
Sorry - All my Sausage-O-Meters are now sold out.
They were all bought by the Prizemaster, for utilise on his bangers tree.
They were all bought by the Prizemaster, for utilise on his bangers tree.
Sir William Chairman
- Willy Nilly
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Re: Sir William Chairman's worthy fund-raising schemes
I’ll only eat the bangers from a sausage tree
The piggies are all dancing, so happy to be free
But little do the piggies know this isn’t such a boon
Those happy bacon pork chops will be squealing very soon
The piggies are all dancing, so happy to be free
But little do the piggies know this isn’t such a boon
Those happy bacon pork chops will be squealing very soon
- Sir William
- Dearly Beloved Chairman
- Posts: 13292
- Joined: Sun Jul 16, 2017 1:39 pm
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Re: Sir William Chairman's worthy fund-raising schemes
Give Mr Nil*ly a free bag of prize bangers.
Sir William Chairman
- Willy Nilly
- Man of Destiny
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Re: Sir William Chairman's worthy fund-raising schemes
That will be sausage bangers picked from a sausage tree
- Sir William
- Dearly Beloved Chairman
- Posts: 13292
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Re: Sir William Chairman's worthy fund-raising schemes
Yes. Prize bangers from a bangers tree.
Sir William Chairman
- Runaway
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Re: Sir William Chairman's worthy fund-raising schemes
Warning to Members: Don't trust the Chairman's "worthy fund-raising schemes".
You will lose your money, your mind, your home and car, your job, and your first born.
Other than that, his latest schemes (distributing padded winter coats to Africa, and selling own-branded Sir W Covid Cures (bottled) to the NHS) seem excellent investments, and I'm ready to accept your investment deposits which I will forward (one day) to the illustrious Chairman (Aussie dollars only please - no funny money).
You will lose your money, your mind, your home and car, your job, and your first born.
Other than that, his latest schemes (distributing padded winter coats to Africa, and selling own-branded Sir W Covid Cures (bottled) to the NHS) seem excellent investments, and I'm ready to accept your investment deposits which I will forward (one day) to the illustrious Chairman (Aussie dollars only please - no funny money).
- Sir William
- Dearly Beloved Chairman
- Posts: 13292
- Joined: Sun Jul 16, 2017 1:39 pm
- Has told off: 690 times
- Been told off: 430 times
- Runaway
- Publicity Executive & Recruitment Ambassador
- Posts: 13482
- Joined: Mon Jul 17, 2017 12:01 am
- Has told off: 558 times
- Been told off: 454 times
Re: Sir William Chairman's worthy fund-raising schemes
Just helping you promote your scams worthy causes.
- Sir William
- Dearly Beloved Chairman
- Posts: 13292
- Joined: Sun Jul 16, 2017 1:39 pm
- Has told off: 690 times
- Been told off: 430 times
- Sir William
- Dearly Beloved Chairman
- Posts: 13292
- Joined: Sun Jul 16, 2017 1:39 pm
- Has told off: 690 times
- Been told off: 430 times
- Sir William
- Dearly Beloved Chairman
- Posts: 13292
- Joined: Sun Jul 16, 2017 1:39 pm
- Has told off: 690 times
- Been told off: 430 times
Re: Sir William Chairman's worthy fund-raising schemes
I will have of to cheque.
Sir William Chairman
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