Slow forum

[Sir William]

Mr Runawa*y - We are all noticing that the site has sometimes becomed very slow since yesterday at times very slow indeed and not so fast as it utilised* to be.

The pages sometimes do not load very fast either.

Please give us a list of the things that you intend to do about this very serious situation in order to rectify this grossly important matter.

(* Not 'utilise to be')

[Runaway]

I am already aware of this and have of been monitoring the load levels on the server for a couple of days. There seems to be no particular reason for this, and it doesn't correspond with any event(s) that I can see in the logs, so it's likely to simply (or is it "simply to") go away. The problem, that is, not the forum.

You can probably expect more slowdowns in the future now that net neutrality has been compromised by the Americans.

Press 1 to reach our automated helpline.
Thank you for using Hostasillyforum.com.au

[Sir William]

I'm all for Net Neutrality, as it means we can capture bigger fish.

[Sir William]

Bump

[Runaway]

Two bumps. Much better.

[Sir William]

Why are you not paying BT Plusnet more money for a faster router and WiFi setup?

[Runaway]

Why aren't YOU?

See my PM.

[Sir William]

I've already gott*en a fast router and WiFi setup.

[Runaway]

And has it helped?

[Sir William]

No, because your router is only able to go at 33rpm (even if you haven't gott*en one).

[Runaway]

So if it didn't w**k for you, where's the logic in ME doing the same?

[Sir William]

Because yours is the slowest conection in the link.

There's no point in our routers running at 78rpm when yours only goes at 33rpm.

You have of let everybody down, with your cheapskate equipment from Bull Electrical.

[Runaway]

You know very well that the server-client relationship is a star one, not serial. If your hypothesis were true, everything would have of stopped after Mr Larry died. (I suppose it DID for him, but that's not the point).

[Sir William]

You know very well that the server-client relationship is a star one, not serial.

Not with my servants it isn't.

[Runaway]

After receiving many complaints about the speed of the site (all from one person ) I have of juxtaposed my router, my wi-fi, and my underpants to run at 19,500 rpm. Will members please let me know if it's betterer or worser.

And for the future, please note that I won't be able to manufacture these adjustments whilst I'm in the bush. But as soon as she lets me go I'll attend to it.

[Prizemaster]

It appears that it is the users that are slow rather than the forum - at least this is what it says at the end of the free forums annuam report sheet

[Runaway]

But this isn't free forums.

[Sir William]

have of you thought about moving the Forum to Tapatalk?

[Runaway]

Now that is a superb idea. Why didn't I think of it?

[Sir William]

[Doctor Cheery]

It's sad to watch ancient friends fall out.....

► Show Spoiler

Especially when none of them have of a f*ck*ng clue what they are talking about.

► Show Spoiler

In fact possibly knowing almost as little as I know about these things

[Runaway]

It's sad to watch ancient friends fall out.....

Who are you calling ancient?

[Doctor Cheery]

Well, you are in the middle of a mid-life crisis, so pointing in the wrong direction, time-wise...
And I doubt one could gett*en a cigarette paper between the Chairman (Bless him) and 66years.......

[Runaway]

Dr Cheery speaks like a bumbledum.

[Sir William]

Dr Cheery projects false information.

I'm not even drawing me pension yet.

► Show Spoiler

Although I have of tried.